Godspeed

The boys and I returned home today after a nice long visit in Florence. We drove straight to Aaron's Aunt Shari and Uncle Dave's house, as we learned last night that Dave was heading to heaven after a difficult battle with cancer. We sang along to Point of Grace quite loudly (well...I did most of the singing) and pulled up outside the house to be met by Aaron's cousins Crystal and Ben coming outside. Dave had passed away just minutes before.

I still wanted to just go in for a second and say goodbye, so I explained to the boys what had happened and told them they could come in and play with their "cousin" Landon for just a second.

 "No. I want to see Uncle Dave," Liam said. I hesitated a little bit because I didn't want him to be upset or scared, but he was very insistent. Max ran off with Landon, and Liam headed to Dave's bedside. I tried to show Liam that it wasn't scary and said a quick prayer and touched Dave's arm gently, just as I would have had he still been with us. Liam just looked and was ok.

We only stayed for a few minutes, and when we got loaded back up into the car the questions came pouring out! We talked about why a body looks a little bit different after someone dies and how it is a house for our spirit. Dave's spirit was in heaven and didn't need his body anymore. I know Liam was a little taken aback by what he saw, and he had some specific questions that I tried my best to answer, but I feel like I did the right thing.

Death isn't something you can shield children from forever. The people we love will not always be here, and we need to live each day and each moment with gratitude for the time we do have. I believe in something greater than myself, and that life doesn't end when a heart stops beating. Our bodies and our hearts have electrical energy running through them, and energy cannot be created or destroyed; it just changes states from one form to another.

 What form do our souls take after leaving our bodies? We'll find out one day. Until then, I think Max put it best.  I asked where Uncle Dave's spirit had gone, and Max said, "It's here. It's with my spirit. And with Liam's spirit." You're right, buddy. He's right here.

This Little Light of Mine

The boys and I had a very busy day today. We were out and about by 9am and didn't pull into the driveway until after 4pm! Our last stop was a quick visit to the chapel, since Liam has never been there and he's on spring break this week.

We were the only ones in the crypt and each boy lit their own candle and sat with me to say a prayer.

 Liam asked, "Mom, can I go and stand by my candle?"

And he stood there and just gazed at it for awhile. He and Max were particularly taken with the pieta - Mary holding Jesus after he's taken down from the cross. They studied the holes left by the nails and the wound in his side. Liam wandered off while Max and I studied Jesus some more, and when I turned around I saw one of the sweetest sights ever.

Liam was kneeling in the center aisle with his head bowed and his hands folded.

I didn't tell him to kneel. He just did. I didn't tell him to feel reverent or awestruck by this place. He just was.

It was one of the most wonderful moments to realize that, as a parent, I've given him all I know how to give, and I will continue. But the rest is up to him...

It's a great start.

Maxwell

Picture by Auntie Kimmy

Of This Room

I've felt drawn to the Chapel of Our Lady of Good Help lately, which is just 7 miles from our house. This chapel sits on the site where the Virgin Mary appeared to Sister Adele Brise in 1859, instructing her to "gather the children in this wild country, and teach them what they should know for salvation."

This Marian apparition was recently granted formal approval by the Church and is the only site in the U.S. with this approval. Approval by the Church means that after study and formal investigation, the apparitions "do exhibit the substance of supernatural character, and are worthy of belief by the Christian faithful." Whether you believe in Marian apparitions or not, the Chapel is still a very holy and peaceful place.

I sat in the dim light of the apparition site today just praying and listening. The room is filled with flickering votive candles, each representing the prayers of one person's heart. In order to light a votive of your own, you take the flame of one candle already lit and then light yours. It struck me as really beautiful, and illustrative of the Church as a whole, this borrowing of hope and light from one soul to another.

As I meditated on that thought, the phrase "of this room" kept coming to me. When you descend the stairs to the crypt, your senses are magnified - the smell of candle wax, the flickering light, the soft darkness that almost envelopes you. You become a part of this room. The room itself is not what's important, but the joining of yourself to something greater is the goal. I was challenged to try to bring the atmosphere and the peace of that room with me when I leave.

Many people confuse The Rosary and devotion to Mary as idolatry, and think that we pray to her. A prayer to Mary or one of the saints is really a request that they remember you in their prayers. Their lives are incredibly inspiring, and they are wonderful examples of how to live a Christian life. I feel a particular devotion to Mary as a mother, and pray often that her Son might show me how to be a better mother to my own sons.

I think our proximity to The Shrine is no coincidence, and I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to spend time there. Prayer is powerful.

"You are here to make the world a better place because you lived."

Quiet Your Mind

Liam's New Bible

We went to church as a family yesterday, which doesn't happen often with my crazy work schedule. We are trying to make it to mass as much as we can, though, and it felt good to be back. At the end of the service, I got this very strong sense that I should get Liam a bible. There was really nothing leading up to the thought, it just popped up and wouldn't leave! We have bible stories at home that the boys enjoy, but not an actual bible for them to call their own.

So, I told Liam that tonight we were going to get him his very own bible. The kid was ECSTATIC. I mean, it was like he was getting a new lego set or something...he couldn't wait! We walked in to Lighthouse Christian Books and he immediately ran over to some bookmarks with Jesus on them and then to the Easter books section. The kid was overwhelmed with all the Jesus in that place! Why have we not been to this store in such a long time?? I felt such a peace and lightness as we walked through the aisles.

We got to the children's bibles and Liam picked one out he thought he might like. Then, he caught sight of the Veggie Tales movie playing on a tv in the corner and was transfixed. I was getting frustrated because I wanted him to really look at the bibles and find the very best one for him. He couldn't be convinced to look very closely at them and couldn't keep his eyes off the tv. I finally picked three children's bibles and had him look through them and pick one. I wasn't sure if he was going to be as excited about this now that he had a show to watch, but he grabbed the bible we chose and then ran over to the bookmarks to find one especially for the bible. He chose one of David and Goliath that said "With God All Things Are Possible." The bible we chose is the Candle Bible for Kids. The illustrations are perfect and the stories are just the right length for Liam.

I wanted to look at a few more things, so he sat in a chair and looked at his new bible while I browsed. Every few minutes he would yell out, "Mom! Come here! I learned something new!" and he would tell me all about why God made a rainbow, or that the name "Isaac" means "laughter." He read 42 pages while I was shopping! He asked if he could read the bible in the car. He asked if he could bring it in to McDonald's to read while he ate his happy meal! He read it all the way home! It was so amazing to see his interest in these stories; like there was this whole new world opened up to him and he couldn't get enough of it. We say our prayers every night...we read bible stories together...but this is a whole new level for him.

As we were leaving the restaurant he said, "Thank you for taking me on this special night together, Mom!" It made me get a little choked up...I bought you a bible and a happy meal...you are the sweetest kid I know.

He is currently on page 109 in the bible and is reading it in bed...



It really was the perfect night. I'm grateful for that little voice that told me this was something Liam needed. I needed it, too....

****Update: I just checked on Liam and he is fast asleep with his bible on his pillow. The bookmark is at page 189!!!***