Balance

I've had a great week at work so far. Feels like things are going really smoothly and I am confident in most things I have to do throughout my shift. I feel more able to make independent decisions quickly, if need be, and usually things turn out well. I made a decision about a call tonight that I thought was a good one. I thought I'd be saving the officers some time and saving my coworkers some steps. Instead I got reminded by my supervisor that I can't always "think with my heart" and that I need to remember to "think with my head".

It was frustrating to me because I didn't think of it as "thinking with my heart" when I was taking those extra steps. I was genuinely concerned about the situation and wanted to try and bring it to a positive conclusion if I could. I understood where my supervisor was coming from, and we have to be thinking of the worst possible situations in this job...but there will always be that part of me that chooses compassion first. We are lied to very convincingly and very often in this job...but I still don't feel jaded by it.

I struggle with balancing it all and being the best dispatcher I can be...but ultimately, I'm not in control of it. I know I'm here for a reason...and I need to remind myself that there will always be something to learn and room for improvement. I never saw myself doing something like this...in fact, it makes me feel completely incompetent and overwhelmed when I stop and think about what I do every day. So, I just say a prayer on my way to work...take a deep breath...and see what the night brings.